TROUBL

1. "a mom"

   Well in some cases yes. I’ve been around some women who could be considered jerkests (Wow). They are with their men and maybe around a group of people and they will disrespect their men with uuuuuuuuuuuum he is fine! especially when her home girls are around. When I was married there was a UPS guy who had the best legs (a lot of them do). I knew how to check his legs when my husband was around. I consider myself a respectful women. I think it’s alright looking at a beautiful person Male or Female if it’s done in a complimentary way. I have on occasion walked in a room an gotten eyes on me and from men and women it’s nice to be on that end. Even though I like the male attention. The best compliment is when we sisters complimnet each other. We spend so much time hating each other, it just feels goods when we acknowledge each others beauty.

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2. Icy Mike

   Don’t hate. Everyone does it in one way or another. Instead of making it such a gender issue of checking someone out, make it a general statement. Men & women can be good or bad at it.

   I usually just let it go, because I know I do it too. When the conversation on the other end stops, just sit back, take a sip of water, and then take a peek at the subject.

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3. Mags

   Come to think of it, I don’t know if I’ve ever noticed a boyfriend/lover of mine checking out another chick. However, in the male friend category… oh hell yeah. Only the ones that know they are staying just friends though… hahahaha

   I am the same way though, if I’m with someone I’m dating, I’ll take one discreet glance and the nice scenery, and be done with it. When I am with my male buddies, I’ll look as much as I want.

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4. TROUBLMan

   If I see an attractive woman, I look. I don’t thinks its a problem and therefore don’t mind when a girl I’m with looks at an attractive man. I’m secure in who I am.

   The issue that I have is when a girl that I’m with start doing “groupie shit.”

   Let me define groupie shit: Groupie shit is when she sees a man she thinks is attractive and starts gawking over him. Its like what A MOM said. When she’s on that ” uuuuuuuuuuuum he is fine!” thats groupie shit.

   I see beautiful women everyday but simply being attracted to someone’s physical doesn’t draw that type of reaction from me. I don’t know these women. They’re cute but could be dumb as a brick. So for me to swoon so heavily over would be crazy.

   Remember most celebrities look down on groupies, because in a real sense your making yourself less than them and it’s expressed by your gawking.

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5. TRAVELING MAN

   If you’re with a friend it shouldn’t matter if you look or not. Just the other day I was walking and talking with a friend on our way to dinner when this dime piece walked by. We caught eyes and for a moment or two I had forgot I was talk with my friend. My friend was like, “damn where is your mind at.” But she did have to admit that baby was fine. In that situation there was no harm, no foul and we enjoyed the rest of the evening.

   Now if you’re with your girl, dude, lover or whatever you should try to be discreet about it. If you can’t stop looking in those situations and respect the person you’re with, then you probably need a new person in your life.

   No one is perfect in these situations, but just be cool and try to play it off.

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6. Talisman

   Everyone checks out the scenery. There are simply too many attractive people around. I learned to do this discreetly over the course of many “friendships”/relationships with women. Some of them check out the scenery with me, which I always find cool; but most tend to get the envy/jealous fire going if they catch you at it.

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7. Tiffany J

   Any man who stares longer than five seconds with at least not making a comment to the person he’s with about the gawked at scenery is an obvious creep! You don’t need to undress or stare someone down with your eyes to make a point. It’s obvious your friend ws having some kind of sick fantasy in his head if he couldn’t even carry out a conversation. As a woman with exceptional beauty myself, I know the creepiness and disgusting effects gawkers can have on a person. it makes beautiful victims feel like a monkey in a zoo cage, whose sole purpose on Earth is to be marveled and gawked at. The least a man can do is make a comment or tell the person he admires what it is he admires, and keep it MOVIN! Fellas, If your not gonna speak don’t make us tweak!… it’s just CREEPY!!!

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8. *SB*

   So am i hearing that everyone does it and doesnt really mind when they see their company do it? who is more discreet tho on average? men or women?

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9. TROUBLMan

   I don’t think it’s a gender thing. I think its a self-worth thing. If you make eye contact with an someone and through this look you both acknowledge that there’s an attraction, the person who values his or her self more will do less of the looking.

   Why? Because they feel like they’re supposed to be pursued and that they’re the catch. Society has trained us that men are supposed to do the chasing so you’ll probably notice more men doing it, but really its about the individual.

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10. Ronnie B.troubl

    Women are definitely more discrete

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11. Talisman

    As I stated, I think women are more discreet. Most women say they’re uncomfortable when men stare for lengths of time; but I also think it depends on who’s doing the looking. If its just some good looking guy staring at you you’re not attracted to, women think that its creepy. If it is Blair Underwood doing the staring, I think most women would think it was a compliment. Its all about context…

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12. ms 39ways of trouble

    Men are visual creatures, who are extremely simple, they also dont posses much self discipline. I think women notice attractive men but we don’t get fixated on them because we don’t have any intentions on getting to know him or attempting to establish some type of commuincation with them. We simply notice a cute guy and keep it moving. Men are predators who want to possess every thing or person of interest, so when they see a beautiful woman, she applies too. I thinks its pretty pathetic, when I walk in public, I see guys totally disrespect thier mates to catch a glance and sometimes thier mates say something, to them and an arguement ensues. All men are guilty of this but please fellows, try to respect your partners and show some self restraint.

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13. "A Mom"

    The world has changed. Although men are the predators to the most part there are women predators. Yes we are known to be more discreet, but women are different. Just as women are different in the work place and in sports and other thing that put them in contact with men. Now yes there are beautiful people out there but sometimes a man or women already are with a beautiful person and this is the reason why they are with that person in the first place. Something about that person made him or her pursue that mate. So the person you are with can be better looking then the one your gawking at. It’s something about ego for men and women. People like to look and people like to be looked at. I’m only mad when a person is disrespecting their mate in this situation. Looking is part of our nature some of us do it more than others. Even when you see someone who is not so attractive or even handicap when does it become disrespectful.

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14. BIG Tone

    Who cares if you look just don’t break your neck trying to do it. You gotta be and idiot if you think your girl/boy friend don’t find other people attractive. I would say women or more sneaky then men. They will get you to look at that guy too. You might hear “He looks like John” or “Would you wear that shirt?”. I say flip the script and get her to look also. That way you can’t get caught because you are both looking.

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15. *SB*

    Big Tone-

    i totally agree…i think thats a really good way to get around the secret scoping but you have to make sure the person your with can understand or feel you…

    My ex and I used to check out people together…like being in a gallery asking each others opinions on the beautiful paintings…

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16. Terry

    While I think that women are definitely more subtle as a whole, I also think that the standard of beauty for women is much more strict.
    My female friends spend far more time and money gaining attention from other women than men. I have spent countless hours listening to women tear each other apart over the outfit and attitudes. My female friends always ask why they get little attention at a party when they are primped, curled and dolled up, but have to beat men off with a stick when they are in sweats with a ponytail throughout their day. As far as I can tell its competition, intimidation, cock blocking and the fact that women have specific criteria in their minds about what is sexy and how to present it. (as guys, we don’t see the work that goes in and tend to fall for the illusions.)

    Truth be told, I find women without make up or accessories more attractive because I know that her physical beauty is natural, her hottness (what sticks out, bounces, and leaves everyone looking whether they are discrete or not) when we go out is a bonus.

    I forget who made the point, but did you ever notice that men’s magazines focus on women? So do women’s magazines. Women are socially trained from barbie dolls and accessory stores to think with details in mind. As far as men go, while some pay attention, most of us are pretty basic, that’s some of us gawk. We have to learn subtlety because it wasn’t conditioned into us from a young age. We don’t get the close your legs talk. For a fun little experiment, try sitting like the opposite gender for a while. It’s a wierd feeling.

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17. boosy

    I should be shot then, because out here in marbela, there are soo many fine women. However, i can’t even give them love being that they are looking at my chick.. Did i look…heck yea i did, well..more than once but hey as long as i’m not touching anything, a cursory glance is acceptable..

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18. troublsome

    I think that when you are in a relationship you and your partner should have an understanding about the things that interest each other. hen i say intersest I also mean that indirectly you should know the kind of human beings that you counter-part is intrigued by. I say indirectly cause I don’t feel like you should purposely disrespect your partner by staring at other people. But I think that it is important you are able to point out people that your partner would like. I also think that by you knowing these things it challenges you to keep yourself up and always want to better yourself! Your wandring eyes should be with your partner, and never behind his/her back. It shouldn’t be a negative thing.

    On another note, I like it when guys look at my counter part, It makes me feel good.. As long as they don’t disrespect me or who ever I’m with. They could look all they want!

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19. Dutchess

    Definitely woman have ways too keep their wondering eyes discrete. The secret/sexy/intriguing look of a woman is something men find attractive. I think looking and appreciating beauty is fine, it is healthy. Sometimes men are more obvious when they look, and woman can get upset or jealous, but if a woman is confident with herself she will know that her man is just looking, and that is that…looking. I agree SB that it can be amusing when you are with your single guy friends and they are checking other woman out…just go talk to her I want to say…

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20. Cave Man!

    I think men are real with it! Women are deceitfully sneaky and devious by nature where as a man is just simply going to be true to how he feels about the attractive chick. He can show respect to the lady that he is with by not gawking over the lady’s beauty, but looking doesn’t mean that he hates you, his primal hunting nature just instinctively zero’s in on prey as a natural predator.

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21. American Pharaoh

    I feel like engaging oneself (by observing) in his or her environment is necessary to attain comfort in a public setting with strangers and the like around. When I see beauty, I naturally fix my eyes for a moment to appreciate it. I don’t think anyone can truthfully say they wouldn’t at least hesitate when they come across an attractive sight.

    It’s absolutely disrespectful to gawk at the sight or glance repeatedly. You’re telling your date that he or she is not worthy of your undivided attention.

    I have a question for ya’ll: Would you say something to your date if you caught him or her being disrespectful in this manner?

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22. *SB*

    American Pharaoh-

    I think it depends on the date…

    I personally would not say anything to a friend and if I did…it would be in a joking or teasing manner.

    If it is someone that I am interested in…then it also depends…I could see myself making a joke about it to bring light to the situation but I could also see myself not say anything at all…either way…the situation is telling me alot about the individual and I would have to reconsider my involvement with that person.

    If it is a boyfriend…then I would say something (not in a rude manner- because that never solves anything) but only because I expect better behavior from my man.

    After revisiting this issue with a friend…she said, “what does it matter-he’s with you and will be going home with you”…can you believe that?
    I responded….”but with him acting like…who knows what he’s doing when your not on his arm”

    So i think that its important for a person to conduct themselves accordingly when in the presence of your interest/ partner/ lover because it reassures them that you are a gentleman/ lady…which could only help their image of you and trust in you when your not around…

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23. "a mom"

    This brother took me to see “Whats Love go to do with it” (Long time). When Ike starting beating Tina it was hard for me because I had came from that same situation and he knew it. But he decided that her beating was funny and started laughing loud and making me and other uncomfortable. So I told him I was going to the restroom and I slowly got up and walked out of the theater and went home. He didn’t know what had happened. When he came to my house a short time later. Well I think you know what happened. We never went out again.

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24. "a mom"

    Again anything that is done disrepectfully is not exceptable.

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Reply to “Wandering Eyes”

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