RSSThe Love of Money
Throughout history women have been used as ponds to guarantee financial security as well as a higher status for themselves, their families, and in some cases, their countries. Taught to secure the highest bidder, women were called foolish when they considered love, sentiment or attraction in their marriage proposals. There were few options either swallow their emotions and enter a meaningless marriage or become outcasts and whores in society’s eyes…
Although we have entered a time where most women have the option of becoming independent, you still see a considerable amount of women choosing their financial security over love. We call these women groupies and gold diggers.But before you shake your head at them, lets think about it…
Not all women desire to be independent or believe that they can be independent. We all search for a companion that has strengths in the areas that we have weaknesses…so how can we judge a woman for seeking a man with financial strength because her financial status is weak? Has this not been the case since the beginning of time? And yes, most women today are granted opportunities to provide for themselves so they can have the choice to marry for love rather than financial obligations…but that’s the thing…it’s a choice!
Instead of shaking your head at a woman for not jumping on the independent woman bandwagon, lets think of her as someone stuck in the past or continuing a legacy. Not my ideal lifestyle, but I am not one to judge…
16 Comments, Comment or Ping
American Pharaoh
We all have insecurities and sometimes project them onto our mate. Women can feel disadvantaged in corporate America since it’s dominated by men. These women want a “secure” man who can take care of them. We can trace these feelings to our earliest ancestors- women wanted the strong man who had the most SURVIVAL & REPLICATION value. Which man was most likely to bring back a fresh kill to the cave? lol. This translates today to which man is likely to be able to afford food for the table and a nice lifestyle? is that a fair analogy? It’s unfair and hypocritical for us to judge women who act like gold diggers…. but I must say I don’t like it!
[Reply]
Terry
I have a really hard time with this one. I thought it was an myth when people had told me that there are girls who choose a school or major in college simply to get her hooks into someone early. I thought it was an exaggeration when I watched television shows, videos and movies that insisted that some women in our society still expect a man to pay for everything and will order the most expensive thing on the menu just for giggles. Clearly, not everyone does this, but from the “men are expected to be good providers and establish themselves” mantras that I grew up listening to, how are men really supposed to respect women as more than expensive commodities and trophy’s is she’s all about “bills, bills, bills?”
A couple of months back, Troubl asked the question about what it means to be a man, I’d like to rekindle the question. If you cannot take care of yourself in the most basic ways (wash your ass, clean up after yourself, take care of your kids, etc) how can you call yourself a man? Housework and childcare are not women’s work, they are necessary to keep yourself fresh and clean. It’s about independence. In the same fashion, relying on a man to get yours works until the next chick comes along, or your looks fade, or (your excuse here). I keep these things in mind when I listen to one gender group bash another for being no good. If you are looking for handouts instead of making moves, you have no right to complain. Of course the company that you keep will use you… just like you use them.
[Reply]
"A Mom"
SB
Great subject.
Motive is the word I use in this situation. We are judged by our motives. I can understand the security that we all want Men and Women. There are men out there that look for security in a successful woman in our world today.
To me it’s about why and what you want from your mate. Gold digger to me is a person who just wants what another has(money, things) a greedy person(just my opinion). Security can be many things. How a person makes you feel or how they care for you or treat you. These are things that secure you and have nothing to do with a paycheck. When you marry a person for security it should be for the right reasons because money and things don’t really make you secure, and the price you might have to pay in the end is much bigger than what you think is security.
[Reply]
nicarao
“VIVA LA INDEPENDENCIA FEMENINA”
[Reply]
TROUBLMan
I respect a woman who’s about her paper,just so long as she lets it be known. If she’s upfront about the fact that she likes rich guys, what’s the issue. At that point it’s on the dude to choose whether he’s with it or not.
One thing these women have to realize though is that most of the time its a trade-off. She gets security, he gets a woman who he can have a a trophy and cheat on if need be. For real though. If it’s that type of financial arrangement both parties have to respect.
[Reply]
"A Mom"
If both parties know what they are getting into then no problem. I’m talking about the pretenders.
The other thing is knowing that the money comes with what ever you get because if you want him/her for the money than they might want you for sex or controlling things that you might want to be a part of. So for that money/security comes another type payoff. If you can handle rolling over to a person/persons you can’t stand for the money. So be it.
[Reply]
RBT
Just throwing this out there you got to look at the other end of the spectrum too there are me out there who consider their wife not working a status symbol too. As long as your keeping it real with yourself and your spouse than its all good. Make it do what it do
[Reply]
TROUBLdMAMI
I agree with ‘A MOM’. It is about motives. It all depends on the individual. Because I honestly wouldn’t mind being the breadwinner in a relationship…If I made enough money to support my family I would do it…I wouldn’t mind my man being domestic/staying at home, supporting his entrepeneurial ventures or working his 9-5…On the other hand, I wouldn’t mind staying at home with the kids, cooking, cleaning, and letting my husband take care of me…However, in each instance there is a give and take that comes with that…LOVE must be the motivation of each individuals sacrifice…If the underlying motivation was the nigga thought he could just chill and not put in some type of work then thats a ‘no no boo’…I just feel when you use the words ‘gold diggers’ and ‘groupies’ that brings a different context, because their mindstate, objectives and intentions are from a place that is not love instead a hunt…a plot…They are like weapons of destruction ‘lock and load bitches’, ’cause they are coming to get you…
[Reply]
TROUBLdMAMI
…and let me clarify…They are not coming to get YOU…They are coming for them POCKETS…
[Reply]
*SB*
I would have to agree with American Pharoah on this one…women are attracted to successful men (men with money) because they see their success as a them being capable of being the best providers…not just providing the necessities (like food and shelter)…they want their spouse to provide the glamorous lifestlyes that they see on The Real Housewives of Orange County/ New York City…or the closest thing to it…ok i admit it…i watch the show
I also agree with Troublman…its about being real…its definitely a trade off so as long as the terms of the agreement are settled…there should be no harm and no fouls….
[Reply]
"A Mom"
SB
Yes it is a trade but it goes much further than that. It comes to control. Just because a man/woman, because now a day women are the bread winners also. It doesn’t mean that they would be the best providers. Success has nothing to do with money. But there are the couples that work well in this situations you talk about. I don’t think that there is much love involved but I could be wrong.
Troublman
Most people are not going to be upfront about the paper believe me. A game is a game you don’t give the correct answer.
[Reply]
*SB*
A MOM-
I guess i was trying to define what i see as the type of success our hypothetical woman looks for…i do not believe money=success, if that was the case I wouldnt be seriously considering a career in public service….and i think your right there is not alot of love in those situations because in those situations money trumps love…love is dispensible…just as long as she has the latest on from versace shes all good!
Whats surprising to me is that the men that have responded so far havent really rejected this concept…its almost as if ya’ll understand and accept it…not to say that ill catch yall with a gold-digger on your arm but it seems like there is a certain level of tolerance for the behavior…
[Reply]
alwayswrite
let’s suppose “tradition” is the reason some women choose financial security over independence. many traditions have been broken. and tradition has nothing to do with something being “hard-wired.” traditions weren’t always around. they were created at some point. so, to cite tradition as a plausible cause for the modern day gold digger or groupie is base.
on another note, this discussion stems from destiny’s child, which is odd b/c one of them supposedly married jay-z. true, she can support herself, but he DOES have more money than her.
[Reply]
TROUBLMan
A MOM
It does come down to control. The question is, who is in control? Is it the woman because she has a man so sprung that he just gives up his loot? Or it it the man because she has surrendered her well-being to him and his income?
I think gold diggers are very upfront, its just that men don’t recognize it. There are numerous signs that they send, most men just don’t understand how to read and interpret them. “Love”, if you want to call it that, blinds you.
[Reply]
BIG Tone
I say get your money! Golddigger my ass. Pussy attracts money and money attracts pussy. The two go hand in hand, they make the world go round(watch the movie Troy). In my profession I have notice that people with a boat load of money love to spend it and show it off. Life is easier for good looking people.
A wet pussy and a dry purse don’t match!
[Reply]
Jamaican Beauty
good shit my friend
[Reply]
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