Everlast

Written by: SB

A common theme that I hear when having discussions about “good” sex is that it has to last. I always hear my girlfriends rave about good sex as their men giving it to them all night long or how he was banging the shit out of her for hours. Even though I never experienced sex for hours…I always enjoyed the longer lasting sessions and didn’t enjoy the partners that could not live up to a certain standard of time. Simple enough…if something feels good, you want to continue that feeling for as long as possible. Right?

A recent sex study conducted by Penn State University (click here to read) has debunked claims of hours of passion as being satisfying sex….stating that sexual satisfaction for couples is in between 3 and 13 minutes….now I know my girlfriends as well as some of my guy friends would read that and say, “that’s some fuckin’ scientific bullshit.” But sexual therapist even provided an average range for sexual satisfaction that is as follows: “adequate,” from 3-7 minutes; “desirable,” from 7-13 minutes; “too short” from 1-2 minutes; and “too long” from 10-30 minutes…so you can imagine hours of sex being considered overkill.

So maybe less is more…but to be honest, I don’t see myself having sex with a man that lasted 8 minutes and saying, “That was pleasing.”…but therapists assert that it is formal and informal standards that are perpetuated in society which causes us to feel that longer sex is better sex.

So is there a real correlation between prolongation and sexual pleasure? If so, have women eternalized that relation and perpetuated the “hours” standard? And do men feel pressured to meet that requirement to be considered a good lover?

Tags: Culture, Sex | Apr 1, 2008 |

24 Comments, Comment or Ping

Q.

honestly, i think there is a bit of pressure that we men understand is on us to be longer than 10 minutes.. at the same time, though, you can get it in in 15 minutes too!! that hour ish is for the birds.. 60 minutes?? that ish is not as enjoyable to me.. it just ain’t.. i remember bustin’ a blood vessel that had my ish swole for days after one of those marathon sessions..

pride makes a lot of us do that hour + stuff, but honestly, 30 minute sessions are a good look for me.. i can get a number of positions in at that time, plus you already had the foreplay.. so that’s like 45-60 minutes together.. i always want my warmup to be longer than my routine, so that 15 minute intro works as well.. and i don’t neglect my warmup, cuz all of us dudes have dropped duds on occasions.. that ish don’t feel too good.. but, coming back strong feels better, cuz you know y’all talked about us after that dud.. now we need y’all to go back to ur girls and tell them how i came back hard, long and right..

i’m just sayin’..

but, nah, i don’t need more than 30 minutes of straight “in and out”.. i definitely don’t need more than an hour.. i will never forget that broken vessel image in my life.. at 18 i thought i was done for life.. scared.. took me 2 days to even figure out what was happening.. so yea, y’all 2 hour dudes can have that.. i’m creating runners within 30 minutes.. i’m trying to do some UFC stuff and have women tap out way before 2 hours..

i’m just sayin’.

[Reply]
Tiffany

If sex doesn’t last long enough to cover the entire basics of stimulation for a woman, it sucks! Long or Short……. By basics I mean getting blood to rush to the clitoris ie. female erection! Oprah revealed that more then 90% of women are not actually turned on once they begin having sex, so men just cuz we’re wet doesn’t mean we’re enjoying it… it’s just our bodies naturally reacting. If you can fit all the basics into that 13 minutes more power to you. If not, you may need that 3 hours!

[Reply]
TROUBLMan

Pride is the culprit. Men feel like if they go long and strong that a woman will run off and tell her friends about his sexual prowess. When in reality he thrusting away while she’s thinking to herself “hurry up because I already got mine.” I can’t stand stroking away and homegirl dealing with “Operation Desert Storm” You know, shit do dry up after a while…I feel like most dudes be trying to outperform the pornos they watch

From my experience, “good” sex is like porridge in the story “Goldilocks and the Three Bears”– not too hot, not too cold, but just right. Or in this case, not too long, not too short, but just right. From what females have told me, this philosophy applies to size and stroke time.

[Reply]
Talisman

Each female is different. I’ve had some that have one good O in 30 minutes and they’re good. I’ve had some who can have multiple Os in an hour & still want more. Since I can get mine anytime, I concentrate on the woman & her sexual needs (good foreplay ALWAYS helps); that’s where the pride thing comes in. I can go one to two hours or, if we’re both already in overdrive, have the 15 minute quickie. My motto is simple; make sure a woman never walks away unsatisfied.

[Reply]
BIG Tone

If you are trying to be like the porn stars you crazy. That shit is cut and pasted. TROUBLMAN gotta point with the Operation Desert Storm. Just wait until you been with someone for 10 years and/or got a couple of kids. I’m trying to get one out at half time. My philosophy after the first one is “if you get it up, I will get it in”. Otherwise leave me alone I gotta go to work tomorrow.

[Reply]
KV27

I got the same mindset as Talisman making sure that the woman gets hers should be the first goal (and depending on how good the foreplay is, she will be about to have an O before you even start). Also the study created these numbers based on what therapists and psychologists said, I think a more accurate way would have been to take a sample of different age groups of women (20-30; 31-40, etc.) because I really don’t see how 5 minutes could be adequate in any way.

[Reply]
TROUBLMan

BIG TONE

What’s your solution when you’ve been with someone that long. I could never see myself being happy with three minute sessions. That shit is wack. I can’t imagine…

[Reply]
"a mom"

To me it’s the build up before the 3-13 minutes that give me the most pleasure. So if the study is correct than for me it doesn’t matter.

[Reply]
"a mom"

Also sometime 3 minutes is all you have Troublman. So you make the best of it.
If you have children or you need a quicky in the morning before work or what ever, you can get a lot done in 3- 13 minutes.

[Reply]
*SB*

Troublman- they have lube for those instances..lol

I mean a quickie is cool every now and then but sometimes your in the mood for a marathon, ya know?

So is the sex any better when it lasts longer? Or does it feel just as good but in a shorter time period?

[Reply]
BIG TONE

TROUBLMAN

When you aint hit shit for like a week and a half you take whatever you can get. Not saying its always like that but with work/kids shit like that you can’t always have those long sessions. I say have your one day a week treat and once a month have what I like to call “PORN NITE” lol. MOM is right the pregame show is just as important. Plus after that long you know what each other likes. So you can warm up and get right to what gets you off. Trust me, it aint the sex part that you want its the end result!

[Reply]
Terry

I guess what this boils down to for me is not exactly knowing where to draw definite lines during when sex begins and sex ends. When it comes to how long it lasts, I don’t understand why we define sex based soley on the man. If its a matter of just in/out whether on top or upside down, then I get it. But quickies aside, if you unintentionally bust after a minute or two, that doesn’t signify anything bad. It could just mean that your partner did something very right. If so, entertain yourself in another way until your are ready to do it again. Or better yet, once you are in the house, why leave? Stick around for a minute while you occupy yourselves elsewhere and you may wind up back at it. Wait, does that count as one or two?

Two in a row almost always leads to the second being much longer than the first. (This is where I usually hear complaints and lube becomes necessary). Plus, how often you do it comes into play. Everyone has different standards when it comes to frequency. I have known the insatiable and the prudish alike. Look at it this way, the vagina is one of the most amazing, complex creations in all of nature. If the human hand can play piano, then imagine the possibilities. Mix in the tongue, cock and accessories and I am just unclear about how long it lasts even becomes an issue in the first place.

[Reply]
*SB*

Terry-
You brought up a really good point…ive heard from men that the first ejaculation is always quicker than the second… and the study doesnt address what round they are referring to…I think they should claridy that because it would make a big difference in their averages if they only counted the first round.

Big Tone…are you serious?
Like Terry said, I enjoy sex from start to finish ( whenever that is)… so does sex really become just the process for the relief of an ejaculation?

[Reply]
BIG TONE

SB name me one guy that starts but in the middle says “ah…this is really good but I aint going to stick around for the end.” and name me one women that don’t get mad when they don’t get theirs. The only reason people have sex is to get off! I know married people that have boring sex, but they need to get off so they deal with it. Any man that wants to lie and say that they can “fuck” for 20 min off their first nut go right ahead. Most guys rub one out before the girl even gets there just so they look good.

[Reply]
Q.

i actually have to disagree with Big Tone.. i want to “get off”, but that ain’t the only reason i’m having sex.. depending on the partner and situation there are parts that feel good that you don’t want to stop.. you want to keep that going, cuz you have a GREAT feeling that the end is going to be crazier than the middle.. i ain’t having sex to not “bust”, but i’ve done it..

i can say that i can for 20 minutes, and i’m not alone.. off my first.. i also ain’t rubbing nothing off before the girl gets there.. ish, i’d rather her do that for me.. but i’d rather just have sex, too.. i have to believe i’m not alone on this.. if i am, then i’m going to be the most popular dude in Troubl..

[Reply]
Lovely Lady

I believe that this study is true.

[Reply]
Jamaican Beauty

I love this article..but i believe its just sterotype for a woman to want long sex..if the job is done..then whats the point of complaining.lol

[Reply]
BIG TONE

Of course you can…

Who don’t beat shit up for 20 min straight. You probably packin too. Why would you beat off when you got some fine ass honeys lined up to do it for you.

Get the fuck outta here with that shit. I know all the ladies are on here reading your post so you gotta look good, but just once can we have some REAL TALK! Just like that post about “does size matter” every guy that posted had a big dick. Or so they say. This aint the boys locker room…we grown. Shit happens, some times you have good days and some times you have bad days, but you tend to live in the middle. Here is a test: Sit in a dark room for 7-13 min and see how long that shit feels.

I know most of you be makin love and slow strokin, but I’m talking aobut beatin some shit up!

[Reply]
Q.

that is real talk.. you acting like 20 minutes is an hour.. i ain’t posting nothing for women.. sorry, i’m good.. that whole size thing is for the birds as well (which i spoke about in that posting).. but i’m not going to sit here and let you say some ish that ain’t true.. you was saying it like you were representing the entire male population..

the one thing i agree with is that we all have our quickies.. we all have those moments.. i know i have my spot, that if a chick hit that, i’m done.. but 20 minutes?? stroking before? maybe i’m in the wrong crowd.. that sounds like some ish some high school dude would say..

[Reply]
Malia

LOL @ BIG TONE!!!!!!! “……….“does size matter” every guy that posted had a big dick……” ((that’s funny))

Okay, I’m gong to leave this one alone!!! Yall crazy!!!!

First ladies should take it as a compliment if he ain’t lasting for an hour (unless that hour was with you) because it means he’s not out getting it every five minutes like Jake Steed in the porno flick ((yes- I know his name…lol)).

Also, if he’s really turned on then, dayum!!!! It just happens….

[Reply]
BIG TONE

If you “think” that you are BEATIN shit up for 20 min of straight fuckin then…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The only male population that I represent is the ones not lyin on their dick! Shit even porn dudes don’t fuck for 20 straight. But I forgot you are the CHOSEN ONE…

[Reply]
m .

given certain “circumstances” i.e. excessive amounts of alcohol, i can do work for hours — but that shit is not enjoyable, because i be so damn drunk, just obliterating the vag and don’t feel shit. a lot of the time it leads to the Desert Storm operation TROUBLMAN spoke of, and ultimately resulting in me just passing out. . .nut not included.

but when completely sober, i always find my most enjoyable sex to be about 30-45 minutes with foreplay, oral, and intercourse. with me, leading up to the sex is the most important part of the deed. if you can have a woman so in the mood that the cooter is just melting and yearning for sex’n then the act itself is going to be a million times better. i’m pretty sure that i can speak for all the niggas when i say that my level of arousal is based heavily on my partner’s level. i feed off of that shit.

[Reply]
alwayswrite

wow…that’s an interesting topic. i’m with troublman. marathons. no. i can’t even run a marathon. sure as hell can’t fuck one. don’t really want to. if a girl need hours and hours–and more hours–of sex, she need to go to a doctor or get hella batteries. at that point, it’s not my problem.

[Reply]
Q.

Big Tone.. Thanks for the new nickname.. i think i like that.. The Chosen One.. I’ll grab one of Diddy’s old tshirts and rock that.. Good luck with your 3 minutes of fame!!

[Reply]

TROUBL

Everlast

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