RSSDown and Distance
The commercials hype the contest, which is their job. Before it starts, they get a guy with a voice like Don LaFontaine to announce who’ll be facing off head-to-head, building some suspense and ratcheting up the intensity so that when things finally kick off, the viewing audience is ready for action. It’s fucking weird–the way they market the debates is almost exactly the way they market football.
It makes sense when you think about it. We are a Super Bowl culture, and we like to have two stark, opposing choices; and we like to see them face off in a one-on-one battle for supremacy. We want to believe that it can all change, if only you show up at the right time and hit all the right notes, give the opponent a well-deserved beatdown and walk away the champ. It’s ingrained in our culture; they don’t make movies like Rocky or The Karate Kid or, I don’t know, Purple Rain in other countries. America is a country that loves direct confrontation and wants to see a winner emerge from a head-to-head contest between two fierce opponents. If you want to understand why we’ve always been governed by a two-party system, you’re more likely to get it studying the history of the NFL than reading the conspiracy theories about how The Man is trying to keep Ralph Nader’s voice silenced because, like, they’re scared of the truth he represents. Americans are big on Thunderdome rules, two-men-enter-one-man-leaves battles, and politics is just the spectator sport we enjoy with the highest stakes.
[that's kinda cynical] Well, hell, it kind of is. I would never suggest that the Presidential election is another bread-and-circuses show designed to keep us focused on trivialities while Rome burns, because it’s not strictly true, and even if it were, it’s not the point. There are a lot of reasons it matters who the President is, as anyone in Iraq–either as a soldier or a citizen–can tell you. We’re not unique in viewing our elections as giant sporting events, either. We just take the idea and Americanize the shit out of it, or football, it doesn’t make a bit of difference. We play it by our own rules.
Check out the way they do shit in England, for example: the Premiereship, which is the largest soccer league in the world, has no playoff or championship game structure. Wild, right? They play a full season, with each team taking on 38 games. Once each team is done, the winner is whoever won the most. Isn’t that fucked up? The champion is automatically whoever the best team was.
That wouldn’t fly within our borders, obviously. We love our underdogs, and everyone who didn’t live directly in Foxboro, Massachusetts celebrated, even if only silently, when the Giants left a broken Patriots team crying in the desert back in February. The idea that our champion would be crowned without being forced to stomp on the second-best directly is downright perverse.
What does this mean for us? I’m writing this the night before the second Presidential debate, a few days after the Biden/Palin head-to-head went into a scoreless overtime that left a bewildered audience, tired of being winked at, the win on a field goal that looked suspiciously like it sailed wide of the posts, but too high up to be sure.
Or something. What the fuck? It gets tricky, when politics is marketed as football, to keep your metaphors ahead of the curve… When grown-ass men and women on television and in-print don’t try to determine which candidate told the truth or lied, but rather who did a better job of scoring points, the distinction between sports and politics becomes blurry in a way that is not much fun for anyone except the broadcasters.
Which is the answer to the question, what does it mean for us: Nothing good. At least, not if you’re as nakedly partisan as me and the rest of the editorial staff here at Troubl. America loves a winner, which is why it’s spent the past few months wanting to fuck Barack Obama, but we also get bored with one-sided domination. We cheer for the underdog, as long as the underdog reveals himself to be a Supreme Winner at the end of the day, and so you can bet on one thing happening over the next month of this campaign.
[john mccain as the new york giants] The extent to which media narrative shapes the outcome of political contests is hard to determine, but I’ll be happy to take on some bets that this one is about to shift. Ever since McCain pulled his phony suspending his campaign stunt a couple weeks ago, the theme has been one of the old dude’s lost it, Obama’s got this one. This is boring, though, and no one will run with it for a full month. The debate will be a good one for Obama, but look for the media refs to hand the final one to McCain, right before the end, so it feels like a contest leading into election day. It’s enough to make one long for the integrity of the officials behind the Chargers/Broncos game in week two.
[wait, isn't this a football column?] It is, in fact, and here I am going on about politics. Mostly, the reason is I made a bunch of predictions last week, and I was embarrassed to check in on them.
Last week, I made nine predictions and guaranteed six of them. Let’s recap:
- The economy does not fully meltdown.
- Sarah Palin is crowned winner in the VP debate.
- John McCain does something bumbling and stupid in his campaign.
- Tennessee falls to Baltimore.
- Buffalo falls to Arizona.
- The Falcons beat the Packers.
- The Chiefs beat the Panthers.
- The Eagles beat the Redskins.
- Brett Favre contracts a case of whooping cough, leading to re-
retirement.
Oh, boy. Where do we start? Well, the economy failing to meltdown was predicated on the bailout not passing, which was where it stood this time yesterday, but I failed to anticipate the re-proposal of the bill with a bonus $150 billion in pork, and it passed. That was supposed to stem the flow of the bloody markets, but instead we’ve just seen the biggest single-day drop ever on the Dow, beating last week’s biggest single-day drop ever. So, whoops! Economic meltdown, my bad.
Sarah Palin was not crowned the winner, though most pundits declared it a draw.
John McCain didn’t let me down, though, with his bizarre new tactic of having the credibility-less Sarah Palin render the
Obama is friends with a former 60’s radical line of attack useless through repetition. Presumably, he was aiming for an October surprise by sending the attack dog VP to land some heavy blows, but the miscalculation regarding the extent to which Americans don’t take Palin seriously has led to a series of articles talking about how your average Joe Sixpack just doesn’t buy it (bless his heart, his reward’s in heaven). Which is awesome, if you hope McCain loses, because an effective attack of Obama’s a secret terrorist might have made some headway in a country so scared of a financial disaster that it can’t even think about the economy without crying. But now, anyone who brings it up is going to sound like Sarah Palin, and that is not an effective way to win an argument.
Okay, and football. I go 2-for-5 on my NFL predictions. The Tennessee Titans squeezed a narrow victory out of Joe Flacco’s Ravens on Sunday, successfully reaching 5-0 without being anywhere near the best team in the league. Arizona did beat Buffalo, and they could well catch the Cowboys napping next week. The Falcons managed to simultaneously prove their own mettle against Green Bay, while fully exposing Aaron Rogers and the Packers as a weak bunch of poseurs who should miss Brett Favre dearly. The Panthers humiliated the Chiefs in a 34-0 shutout; and the Redskins stomped the Eagles 23-17, leaving one NFC East team a definitive loser in a division full of winners.
And Brett Favre? Well, the Jets had the week off, and no one has come anywhere close to proving that he doesn’t have whooping cough, so that means I go 4-for-9, overall, with last week’s predictions. It is not something I will bring up in an attempt to impress anyone, but it definitely reiterates the foolishness of basing your idea of what next month is going to look like on what you see in the headlines today. By November, John McCain may be a 30-point favorite to win the election, coasting on a 15,000-point Dow Jones. Who the hell can tell? Not me, and probably not you, either.
28 Comments, Comment or Ping
Jamie Holts
I just stopped by your blog and thought I would say hello. I like your site design. Looking forward to reading more down the road.
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"A Mom" reply on October 14th, 2008 8:04 pm:
Love having you.
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pissed off american
I have to say, for some one writing about football as well as you do, its amazing that you write for free at this site during football season. I do disagree with something that you said. I do agree that america likes a showdown between the two best, but i ask you… didnt america root and cheer for the black sox in 1919 during the world series? it wasnt until america found out that the black sox accepted money to throw the world series did america get angry and feel manipulated. america roots for obama or whoever because they dont know any better. it seems to me that the obama loving community chooses to be blind to a glaring and obvious fact. HE IS A MEMBER OF THE COUNCIL ON FOREIGN RELATIONS. this has nothing to do with Nader or conspiracy theories. this is fact. he is a member of the same prominant organization that dick cheney is a member of. were fucked.
wake up people! i read everywhere about how obama is different. how god damned ignorant is everyone? has history taught anyone anything? this comment will probably be shunned by the obama loving community as quackery, but listen to any candidate on the Shit Box. they dont speak of important issues, ever. meaningless domestic policy issues is the difference to them, as far as issues that will change the course of the world, they are two sides of the same coin. look at bush and kerry. the whole world knew the iraq war was based on misinformation. yet, both our choices for president voted for the war. not to mention the fact that both george bush and john kerry are admittedly in the same secret society called skull and bones that is too secret to talk about. only 15 people admitted per year meaning at any given time there are only 800 living members yet both our choices for president are members in 2004? wtf is that. then of course there is a virtual media blackout on such an issue that is virtual treason. if you dont believe me.. look it up on youtube, john kerry, bush , skull bones, tim russert interview. its sick to me that “the mans” campeign of total bs works on most people. go vote for obama, believe in democracy, be a good american.
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Dan Solomon reply on October 8th, 2008 7:28 pm:
1. What do you think of the Titans? Are they a legitimate 5-0 team, or do they owe it to weak competition and lucky calls?
2. How overrated is Aaron Rogers? I mean, seriously. He can throw a long pass, sure, but you never know who’s gonna catch it. He’s like Brett Favre minus the ability to win more often than not.
3. What’s your take on the Falcons this year? They’re surprising a lot of people, but mostly against loser teams- at least, if you don’t buy the hype (WAKE UP AMERICA) about the Packers being Super Bowl contenders…
4. If Skull & Bones is so powerful, why isn’t there a single Yale football player in the NFL now? You figure they could goose Goodell for the good of the school’s reputation, right?
–d
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TROUBLMan reply on October 9th, 2008 2:54 pm:
Dan,
You’re spot on–well, at least with the politics.
The Titans are actually a good team. They’re scrappy and have heart, which is just how i would describe the patriot a few years back as they began they’re accession to the top of the league.
Aaron Rodgers is overatted, but for a first year starter he impresses me.
I’ve yet to decide how I feel about the Falcons. However anytime you can run the ball like they do, you’ll be in each game until the end.
Don’t be mistaken, the Skull and Bones definitely have clout. The reason why there are no Yale football players in the league is because kids at Yale have sense enough to know that if they work their connection they probably could end up owning a team, rather than sacrificing their bodies as a player.
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Dan Solomon reply on October 9th, 2008 7:40 pm:
I can’t decide on the Titans. I watch my Bears play at a bar that’s split between Bears and Titans fans, and so I’ve caught at least parts of just about every game they’ve played. They look good some of the time, and they’ve certainly succeeded in finishing their games, but I still think they’d be hammered by a legit powerhouse team- which, in the NFL right now, seems pretty much to be just the Giants, the Redskins, the Panthers, and maybe the Cowboys and the Patriots. If this is their year, it’s because they’re playing in a weak conference. These Titans would have been crushed by the ‘07 Colts or Patriots or Chargers, but those teams don’t exist right now. I’m with you regarding their potential for the future, but for now, I think they’re a weak 5-0.
Rodgers has some spark, and maybe he’ll grow into something, but for now he’s still sub-Tony Romo, and that guy is the most overrated quarterback in the game.
The Falcons would be a wildcard pick this year if the NFC weren’t pretty fierce. To be a real playoff hopeful, both Tampa Bay (probable) and Carolina (less likely) would have to implode- so they can maybe rest easy with a 9-7 season, with a lot of potential for next year.
As for Skull and Bones, hell- I get the feeling that, as far as secret societies go, they’re just a bunch of rich kids who are in a club that gets things handed to them, not some league of evil. The fact that two of the 800 members of this club full of the most privileged people on earth were both running for President isn’t a conspiracy, it’s just a statement of how the world works. If you got the keys, you’re driving.
–d
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TROUBLMan reply on October 10th, 2008 11:12 am:
On paper, the Titans don’t match up with the powerhouse teams but there’s no way to measure heart and they have it. Their defense has an attitude and that always get you far in the league.
Yes, Rodgers is still sub-Tony Romo but Tony Romo is still sub-Tony Romo himself. I like them both. They take chances because they’re young. Give them a few years and watch how both QBs dominate.
I agree with you on the Falcons 100%.
And, as far as the Skull and Bones go your right on. It’s no conspiracy, it’s a country club for rich kids. A lot of the conspiracy theories that surround these organizations are funny. What conspiracy is it when powerful people use their resources to gain more power and more resources. Like you said, it’s how the world works.
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"A Mom" reply on October 9th, 2008 1:20 pm:
Your opinion is important, but it is just that “Yours.” If we dig into our past candidates sense the beginning, I’m sure we can dig up a lot of shit. KKK and more. Most regular people will never know all the dirt about everyone and I hope that we will get the best president for 2008 because the one we have has to go and his policies with him. That is why I will vote against a Bush/McCain ticket. I’m not voting against them for the dirt, but because they have turn our country into a less powerful and less compassionate place for all people here and abroad.
I don’t know everything about you, or you me, but I respect your opinion, and you get out there and vote for who you wish to vote for “Dirt and all” and let others do the same.
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TROUBLMan reply on October 9th, 2008 2:46 pm:
First off, Obama is a politician, which means he has to play within the rules of the game. Second, he’s a young, black politician with a funny name, which means he has to do extra just to become legitimate in the Washington halls of power, to the media and the people. Is he any better than the rest? Only time will tell.
Still, don’t let affiliation be the whole story. Sometimes joining the club is the only way you can change the game. Obama being a member of The Council of Foreign Relations alongside Dick Cheney does not mean they share the same politics. It simply means both have the
ability to wage in on the big decisions that the council makes. I’d want to be at the table, just to hear what my enemies are thinking. Keep you enemies closer is how the saying goes.
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Dan Solomon reply on October 9th, 2008 7:41 pm:
Oh, I should have mentioned in my response that Obama’s not a member of the Council on Foreign Relations alongside Dick Cheney or anybody else, which is why I didn’t reply seriously to this dude. There’s a weird conspiracy theory out there that says that he (or Michelle) secretly is, but there’s no support for it.
–d
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"A Mom" reply on October 9th, 2008 7:45 pm:
Some of these people are judging out of fear of the unknown not the facts. This conspiracy is that the world may change a little and some people feel the good old boys just maybe taken down a notch. Some people can’t afford change. It might just hurt their pockets for a change.
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dUMB BLACK MAN reply on October 10th, 2008 3:38 pm:
I agree with PISSED OFF AMERICAN. I thought this was a website that SPEAKS OUT WHEN THE MEDIA WONT LISTEN. Its pretty sad that the most obvious thing and most serious subject gets laughed at on this site. The only thing I can figure is that no one actually even took 5 minutes to look into obamas affiliations with the Coucil on Foreign Relations, ie the top contributers to his campeign are members. Keep in mind dick cheney kept his membership in the cfr a secret until he got elected vice president. Its clear obama at the very least is in bed with the same people dick cheney is. It kills me that u guys laugh at this. What a sad joke.
The funniest thing is that the guy who runs this site, LIKES UR STYLE DAN. Ur style dan is that of a red herring, lol its hilarious you call it a WIERD CONSPIRACY THEORY. good style. Nicely done. A website that prides itself on the power of the arguement, enjoys it name calling as opposed to opening thier eyes. Every dumb blind sheep american will get whats coming to them, unfortunately, you are taking the rest of us with you.. keep fighting the man with your website that SPEAKS OUT WHEN THE MEDIA WONT LET U, … lol not even 1 person agrees that its not disturbing who obama gets his money from. enjoy pretending the lie is real while your babies die, economy collapses, and your black politician profits as much as the rest of them. enjoy the one world government, and the mandatory cashless society. enjoy armageddon, and enjoy explaining to the eternal creator how you sat, living a lie while it all went down.
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TROUBLMan reply on October 10th, 2008 4:15 pm:
This is a website that speaks out when the media won’t listen, but I believe in Obama. I never denied his relations to the Coucil on Foreign Relations. I don’t think it’s a bad thing. What’s your complaint with the council? Your argument is the same as the right-wings. By asserting that Obama and Cheney are co-conspirator you’re basically saying he’s “palling around with terrorists”.
Obama is a politician, a very effective one at that. Yes, Obama has compromised on some things, but that’s the give and take of politics.
I love that you bring your opinion. We’re here to debate.
But I disagree. I’m not disturbed by where know Obama gets his money from. He gets money and when you’re playing politics that’s what matters. Once again, Obama is a politician. I don’t know why everyone assumes he’ll have a grassroots organizer ethic.
Your rant is welcomed because at the end of the day we’re exposing young people to different political views and perspectives from people who share a common goal. Recognize!
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PISSED OFF AMERICAN reply on October 12th, 2008 5:13 pm:
I SUPPOSE MY COMPLAINT ON THE COUNCIL IS THIS. I DONT WANT A GLOBAL GOVERNMENT. I BELIEVE A MAJOR STEP IN ACHIEVING THIS IS ESTABLISHING THE NORTH AMERICAN UNION. I DONT THINK AMERICA SHOULD BECOME A NORTH AMERICAN UNION ( COMBINING WITH MEXICO AND CANADA ). YET THE CFR, HAS WHOLEHEARTEDLY ATTEMTED TO MAKE THIS OCCUR. THERE ARE SEVERAL DOCUMENTS WRITTEN BY ROBERT PASTOR, PROMINANT CFR MEMBER ABOUT THE PLAN FOR THE NORTH AMERICAN UNION. HERE IS SOME INFO ON THE NAU - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4axRYJymHI …. IT IS OCCURING. NOW, IF OBAMA IS A CFR MEMBER, HE WILL DO NOTHING TO PROTECT AMERICAN SOVERIEGNTY. WE WILL BE ONE STEP FROM GLOBAL GOVERNMENT IF WE UNIFY OUR CONTINENT. NOT TO MENTION THE AMERO.
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TROUBLMan reply on October 13th, 2008 4:33 pm:
American sovereignty is an illusion. The nations of the world are already interconnected. Realize how the Mexican and American economies are already inextricably linked. It’s estimated that Mexican immigrants send more than $20 billion dollars back to Mexico each year. That’s an economy that has more to do with the people who choose to cross the border than government.
Am I arguing for a global government or American Union? NO. What I’m doing is illustrating that the world is not black and white like you describe it.Realize American sovereignty is also sacrificed by American’s not just by the government or politicians. The biggest factor in the convergence of Mexico and America is the millions of Mexicans in the U.S. that will at one point make up a substantial number of the country’s population. They’ll vote, they’ll have economic power and they’ll have nationalistic ties.
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PISSED OFF AMERICAN reply on October 14th, 2008 2:59 am:
good point.
2 counter points -
1. i realize its not just black and white, there’s also red and yellow. the song? red yellow black and white. that was a joke.
2. i think that TOTAL american soverienty is an illusion. I agree in that the imigration problem in america has been a crushing blow, however, i do feel that their is still a large chunk of American soverienty that could be protected. Unfortunatly, we stand to lose it in the near future because of the course our leaders both elected and soon to be elected are taking.
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Dan Solomon reply on October 10th, 2008 10:25 pm:
Okay, here’s the thing-
One, when you come in here disrespectfully and start hurling insults and accusations, then I’m not inclined to offer much respect back to you. Disrespect is a two-way street.
Two, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Dick Cheney’s membership on the Council on Foreign Relations wasn’t a secret prior to being elected VP- hell, the motherfucker was the director of the organization for two terms before he got into the White House. Barack Obama isn’t a member. There’s zero evidence of it. You’re more than welcome to believe whatever you want to, but I’m not really interested in debating the subject with someone who has to make up his own facts in order to have a basis for his opinion.
Look, I get that the media lies and lets people down, and that lack of trust sometimes leads one to believe that, if they’re not talking about it, it must be true. But all that means is you’re basing what you believe on what you see in the media, too- you’re just doing it backwards. It’s possible- likely, even- that we’ll never know exactly what the Skull & Bones folks do, or exactly how much authority the Council on Foreign Relations actually holds. But taking our ignorance and pretending that it proves whatever we make up and declare true doesn’t make us any less ignorant. It just makes us feel better about it.
I hope you feel better.
–d
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PISSED OFF AMERICAN reply on October 12th, 2008 4:57 pm:
LOL. INSULTS AND ACCUSATIONS.
1. HMM. IM SORRY, I MUST HAVE THOUGHT YOU HAVE ALIGATOR SKIN TO PUT UP WITH ALL MY HORRENDOUS INSULTS I FLUNG AT YOU. LOL. IM SORRY IF I HURT YOUR FEELINGS WITH MY COUNTLESS NUMBER OF INSULTS….
2. ACCUSATIONS? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ASSIGNING BLAME WHERE BLAME IS DUE? ISN’T THAT THE PURPOSE OF THIS WEBSITE?
BACK TO THE ISSUE AT HAND. THE POINT I MADE, IS THAT MEMBERS OF THE CFR THAT ARE RUNNING FOR ELECTION, ARE NOT PROUD OF THE CFR BECAUSE MANY ARE AWARE OF THE CFR”S GLOBAL AGENDA. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOAk-7F1EVU ….. AS YOU CAN SEE HERE. A ROOM FULL OF CFR MEMBERS LAUGH AT THE FACT THAT CHENEY DID NOT MENTION HIS MEMBERSHIP IN THE CFR WHILE RUNNING FOR ELECTION. THIS PROVES THAT EVEN DIRECTORS OF THE CFR DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEIR MEMBERSHIP SECRET.
AS FAR AS ZERO EVIDENCE FOR BARRACK BEING A MEMBER OF THE CFR. WHO’S THE ONE BEING IGNORANT?
ADMITTED CFR MEMBERS INCLUDE: JOHN KERRY, BILL CLINTON, AL GORE, GEORGE BUSH………. LIST GOES ON AND ON. AS EVERYONE KNOWS, IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH, FOLLOW THE MONEY. HENCE, OBAMA’S LARGEST CAMPEIGN CONTRIBUTERS ARE CFR MEMBERS. HMM. HOW COINCIDENTAL. I FIND IT FUNNY THAT IM THE ONE WITH THE WIERD THEORY. HOPEFULLY ONE DAY YOU WAKE UP IN A WORLD OF SHIT( AS WE ALL SOON WILL) AND HOPEFULLY YOU REALIZE THAT YOU DESERVE WHAT YOU GET AS THE DEFENDER OF THESE GLOBALIST TOTALITARIAN POLITICIANS THAT SYSTEMATICALLY DESTROY THE HUMAN RACE AS WE KNOW IT. ON THAT DAY, YOU WILL SAY, OH FUCK. I AM A DEUTCHE.
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"A Mom" reply on October 14th, 2008 7:58 pm:
PISSED OFF AMERICAN
Vote for who you think will keep your america in tact. Have your opinions. America is about opinions, but at the end of the day we all have them “opinions”.
If this web-site is not what you want it to be than tell us what’s wrong. Personally you give us a lot to think about, but you have to respect our feeling as well (or not).
LOL.
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PISSED OFF AMERICAN reply on October 17th, 2008 1:35 am:
unfortunately, as a realist i have resigned myself to the fact that as one individual, i do not have the power to elect the first third party candidate in american history, hence i would rather daydream about unicorns, than go vote. no one likes to hear that voting doesnt work, people always say” THEN WHAT KIND OF IDEAS DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE THINGS BETTER ? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO COME OVER HERE AND SHIT ALL OVER EVERYTHING WE HAVE BELIEVED OUR WHOLE LIVES WITHOUT OFFERING A SOLUTION. cus there is no solution. i suppose it just bothers me seeing smart good hearted people get fooled by street thugs (politiians) hustling in a world wide game of three card monty.
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"A Mom" reply on October 17th, 2008 9:21 pm:
And tell me when has this not been the cause. Who is coming over here and shitting all over everything? I don’t understand what we have believed in.
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TROUBLMan reply on October 18th, 2008 11:52 am:
Believe me, I’m right there with you. I want third party candidates to have a real shot a winning. But that’s why I’m voting for Obama. He’s not a third party candidate, but he still fundamentally changes American politics and that’s a start. Electing Obama makes Americans to start to understand the nation’s politics in a different way. Only after average Americans start viewing politic differently will a third party candidate have a shot at winning an election. Plus, I like the fact that liberal and conservative hate and love him. To me, it says something about his commitment to his values. But we’ll see it translate into a good presidency.
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Troublsome
Dan, I like your style…
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Dan Solomon reply on October 9th, 2008 7:42 pm:
Thank you very much, sir.
–d
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TROUBLMan reply on October 10th, 2008 11:13 am:
I concur.
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Black Girl
Me too, of course.
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Reply to “Down and Distance”
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