RSSBabies Aren’t Bling
The air time on single parent homes have diminished, but silently in the corridors of the crowded apartment complexes we know better. This phenomenon goes back a while; So far back, that I won’t try to pin point it. Just because it’s not getting the attention it used to, doesn’t mean it’s not still a big problem. There are two questions I am curious about. 1. Why is so difficult for men to brake this cycle? There are many possible reasons: sex in the media, culture, intelligence, tradition etc… As a man and as someone who grew up in a single parent home I don’t have a definitive answer.
The results of single parent homes are especially heart breaking. Teen pregnancies, drug abuse, criminal behavior and sexual abuse are all attributed to the single parent phenomenon. I could give you stats but that shit is too depressing. Now we’re to the point were we have generation upon generation of fucked up kids (Don’t take that to personally if your mom had you when she was 16, I’m sure she’s a great women, I’m just saying, if you or one of your siblings had a kid at 13 or 14 then the shit was probably past down subconsciously. Usually the kids end up doing the same things or worse) passing down fucked up traits unknowingly. I made a conscious decision years ago to not continue the cycle.
My second question is: Why are women continuing to bring children in this word under these circumstances? The first thing that comes to mind is that they must have reached the zenith of selfishness. Some people even try to get pregnant on purpose (see jersey chasers and other crazy individuals). I know a girl who thought she could get the baby daddy to be with her if she had the baby. That same girl also had no one outside her family who loved her and she thought that having the baby would give her someone to love unconditionally and vice versa. It’s like the baby was the ultimate me gift. It alters the life of the people who have to step in and support you. When you can’t even take care of your self of dare you think of taking care of a baby. In my eyes there is no sympathy for ignorance like that. If there are any women out there who could please shed some light on this for me I would appreciate it.
I would like to end by asking, what can people do to change this? I say:
A. Get an education. B. See how hard it is to go it alone and C. grow the fuck up. This is dedicated to someone I have come to know and care about.Yeah it’s fun to think about what kind of cute clothes to buy and how cute you gonna look with it and all that but a baby is not bling.
4 Comments, Comment or Ping
Troublsome
For your first question. I think that many men get women pregnant for selfish reasons. I think when they notice their relationship getting rocky they purposely get their girl pregnant so that the girl can always be tied to them… I also agree with you with you Cypher when you say that the media plays an important role in the behaviors of men towards their children. Everyone wants to be a player and live the player life, and it is very hard to do that when you are a family man. Unless you are that Ni**a! Most men want the perquisites of having a baby, like showing them off at the family parties, or taking to the mall. However, do not want the financial aspect of having the kid or the family obligation. I think the problem is the kid is seen as a burden rather than a blessing.
For the females, I think some of the characteristics are very similar: Sometimes girls keep the kid around, cause that is a way to control their dudes. In addition, if the person leaves them in the process they hold on to the kid, and treat them as if they were the baby daddy. Especially if the baby is a boy… They will love and spoil the kid. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with that. But then again that raises the issue, of Why do they even bring these babies in the world anyways. Hey, I don’t believe in abortion either, but strap up for God sakes. We cannot keep bringing babies in the world for selfishly.
[Reply]
TROUBLMan
TROUBLSOME
I agree completely. But I’d say we cant bring babie in this world for stupid reasons. The outcome is scarred in the soul of our communities. Its running through the public school hallways. Its in the prisons. We have to realize this. We here are the teachers. Keep that knowledge flowin!!!
[Reply]
Diana
Ugh.. you really hit a soft spot for me with this one. I can’t explain how many times I’ve looked at a situation and thought to myself that it’s not gona end up to be a good thing. Bringing a child into this earth is so much deeper than being a “young hip mom” or being able to buy cute clothes. It’s the most beautiful and purest gift from God that should never be compromised or used as an excuse to make things better. I’m sorry ladies but having a child is not gona make a man stay with you or love you any more. And for the men out there who aren’t fulfilling their duties as fathers shame on you. Don’t just boast about your “seed” but disappear when it’s time to pay child support, time to be a family, or when things get rough. This is a really serious issue and your right the stats are so heart-breaking. Can we actually pinpoint the blame on one person or thing? No, because often it does become a cycle and that way of thinking gets past down generation to genertaion. Daily babies are being born into one parent households and often that childs life is jeapordized because two people didn’t think about what they were doing. We can take the issue even deeper and look at how sex has become such a casual thing in our society. That ideology of loving some one and making love to a person you have a connection with is slowly diminishing. Babies are coming to this world through booty calls, one night stands, drunken encounters, rebound relationships, etc. We need to take a stand and educate not only our youth but our society that a baby, like you said is more than just an accessory..
[Reply]
"a mom"
A baby should be the result of a living relationship with two people. Marriage should be in that picture but if there is no marriage which is becoming the norm in our country, still there can be a good parenting relationship. I think a lot of girls/women think that having a baby is the ultimate gift to the man she loves, most of the time equating sex with love. They think that once the baby has arrived in all it’s glory this will turn a boy into a man and he will step up to the plate and he will be her forever. After who can resist a little helpless baby. Instead for many boys/men this become a thing of entrapment something fearfull. The results are Baby Daddy’s all over the place. I’m not trying to make light of this but I realize the problem is not getting better. Not just young girls but grown women think the same way. I have a friend who did that years ago to get this bus driver to marry. He hurried up and left town. Now she is just alone with three baby daddy’s under her belt and a bitter women.
[Reply]
Reply to “Babies Aren’t Bling”
SEE ALSO
♦ A MOM - Daddy’s Love
February 19, 2008
♦ TROUBLMan - Leaders of the New School
December 17, 2007
♦ Boosy - The Fever
March 11, 2008
♦ SB - …Between Love & Hurt
May 6, 2008
♦ A MOM - Show Me Some Love
March 14, 2008