RSSForgive Me Not
Forgiveness is an essential part of being human. This essential part has two avenues. First, there is the person who has done wrong and needs forgiveness. Second, there is the person who has been wronged and offers forgiveness. The problem, though, is both people experience an internal power complexity.
Most people have an attitude of forgiveness being synonymous with weakness. And no one wants to feel weak. The first doesn’t want to give his/her power to the second by offering forgiveness. The second doesn’t want to give his/her power to the first by asking for forgiveness. It’s an egotistical dilemma both people encounter at the same time. Both people must realize they share a similar problem and figure out a path to solution.
Solution starts here: The first person’s need for forgiveness is actually a want. The second person’s offer is actually a must. Typically, wants carry more passion than needs. And, typically, offers are voluntary but not necessary and thus leaving an option here or there. So, when the first person totally comes to terms with their need as a want, he/she will prompt himself/herself more heavily to get it. And when the second person comes to term with his/her offering as a must, he/she will give it-he/she has no other option. Now, at this point, there is a leveling of the problem. Both people are relinquishing the exact amount of power. Both people have placed aside egos. The first person asks for forgiveness because he/she wants it; and the second person offers forgiveness because he/she must.
It’s amazing the amount of people who walk about unforgiven and unforgiving. People must realize both avenues of forgiveness represent a full acceptance of humanity. Forgiveness is a thing people want and need. People are fallible and therefore need passes from others. Anyone who doesn’t give passes declares himself/herself above humanity. He/she supposes they are infallible and therefore grant others no mistakes. But, since that is not the case, people have to solve their problems and if they do not, that is weak. A person is not weak for doing what he/she must or want. A person is not weak for the allowance of human frailty. Forgiveness is nothing more than recognition of that allowance. Forgiveness is the ultimate respect for imperfection, the fact that this or that person will do wrong or be wronged. Forgiveness is the necessary respect for humanity.
8 Comments, Comment or Ping
"A Mom"
Loved this post.
I’m still having a problem with forgiving my ex-boyfriend of seven years. In my head I forgive him for not being the person I thought he was. I never, ever thought he would cheat and was totally surprised. I just never felt he would.
In my heart I still feel hurt and at times I don’t him well. It’s hard for me because after years of being divorced and then meeting him I opened my heart again. Although I have these feeling, I no regrets and I work on my forgiveness everyday. I know I have to in order to go on.
[Reply]
TROUBLMan reply on May 23, 2008 9:08 pm:
The fact that you even re-opened your heart to him shows you understand the principle of the forgiveness–and the post. You ahead of so many people out here. I’m glad you got something from it.
[Reply]
TROUBLMan
A Mom,
That reply was from me: Alwayswrite. I’m on TroublMan’s laptop.
[Reply]
Boosy
people who see forgiveness as weakness could be weak themselves….pride comes before a fall…
[Reply]
TROUBLMan reply on May 24, 2008 10:44 pm:
I know. Pride is a form of weakness, though it has to be a saturation of it. A person can take pride in accomplishments and so forth, but pride can’t turn into arrogance. Arrogance does not breed forgiveness.
[Reply]
TROUBLMan reply on May 24, 2008 10:44 pm:
Boos, that reply was from me: Alwayswrite.
[Reply]
TROUBLdMami
The point I am at now in my life, I have realized, forgiveness is the most beautiful form of growth…It not only helps one to acknowledge their own strengths, because I believe forgiving is a strength, but it allows true compassion to take place…Instead of being stuck on all the wrongs, all the hurt, all the unanswered questions, forgiveness is a pathway for clarity for both parties…Pride will make one remain stagnant, and noone wants that…Noone is perfect…Forgiveness also allows a person to see someone else’s point of view even if you do not necessarily agree with it, at least you are open to have some sort of understanding of why or what….
[Reply]
Alwayswrite reply on May 24, 2008 11:22 pm:
Yeah, it’s definitely harder to forgive than to not to. It’s funny, though, that when we don’t forgive, we tend to think about the situation more. It produces an unwanted stress that is easily alleviated with forgiveness. But, some people like stress. They can have that though.
–Alwayswrite
[Reply]
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