RSSLove in War
After talking to one of my girlfriends the other day about her relationship, I stumbled upon a very important question. Are similar political views necessary in developing a healthy relationship?
Party affiliation is more than just politics, it can say a lot about a person. It can reveal their morals, their perception of reality as well as their vision and dreams for the future. So when two people are of different partisan groups…their outlook on life can conflict… can a functional relationship develop from that?
I know, I know! Opposites attract but this is more than mere personality traits…we’re talking about a person’s beliefs? Political views are right next to religious views in my opinion (just my opinion) which on some level defines a person…that’s a serious matter to simply overlook!
Personally, I am turned off if someone I’m interested in identifies with certain partisan groups because they support an effort that I believe to be fundamentally wrong… its a personality flaw but worse so I cant take that relationship seriously…I cant be their ride-or-die chick because when the revolution comes- I think they’ll be standing on the other side. (a little dramatic- I know…but you know what I’m saying).
In the case of my friend…her and her man rarely discuss politics to avoid confrontation but shouldn’t politics be something you and your partner can debate about freely- concluding on some common ground because you share similar beliefs?
Then my mind took a left turn and I thought of the gray areas within party affiliations …you know–the independents and moderates… are they the bi-sexuals of the political world? They can swing either way but may lean toward one side…
So I have to ask how important is your love interest’s political views?
20 Comments, Comment or Ping
TROUBLMan
I’d date anyone I love. Their political stance wouldn’t keep me from loving them. We would first have to get to a point where politics came up. And who talks politics on the first date?
And think about the people with the same political affiliations who have different values. There are scores of liberals that don’t support abortion. And even more who do.
What matter to me are their ultimate goals for our country and our world. I don’t have to agree with their opinion on how to get there in order to love them.
[Reply]
*SB*
Troublman…
Politics is definitely on my first date topics…I dont jump into it…but after the settle pleasantries its time to get down to the nitty-gritty! LOL I just find that it says alot about a person…
[Reply]
mrschocolatestuff
It’s somewhat important but one’s views are merely opinions- they are not facts. I would still admire them for their stand on their views and although I may not agree with some of them, there are other things that would keep us bonded. I’d respect their opinions and views and even try to understand why they’ve taken their stand.
[Reply]
The Nightmare You Crave
Couples can debate all they want if they can handle reality. That they are not going to agree.
Just like for me I believe in killing the terrorists and everyone in the middle east linked to it. My lady believes in all the peace stuff and humanity and crap. Thats fine because that is her belief. I don’t and won’t believe in things that are not of my choosing. I don’t expect others to do it either.
Politics is what it is. Who cares who is a democrat or republican or whatever. The point it none of them give a damn about the common people when it all comes down to it. We make the best out of the garbage that we are given.
[Reply]
Kedar
Opposites do not attract that is caucasian science. African peoples are about compatibility and being complimentary of one another. Caucasians believe there is a battle of the sexes and because we as African peoples fall into this mentality our relationships suffer. African peoples are friends to one another; Causasian people and those that follow them are not. Dog is man’s best friend, Diamonds are a girls best friend. Nothing in these statements from Caucasians shows any compatibility with the so called opposite sex and as long as we follow them and their system of dating, we will not have fruitful, meaningful, fulfilling relationships. We’ll constantly be at odds (opposites attract) and will never have cohesiveness.
[Reply]
Talisman
Usually, this doesn’t come up on the my first dates; if it did, you would have to question the other person about the particular political beliefs. There are republicans who believe in taxation and democrats who think the welfare system should be abolished. You never can tell someone’s political beliefs just by the party they’ve chosen to affiliate themselves with.
As for people of different parties in relationships, I see that ALL the time. If you’re attracted to or love someone, in the long run, it doesn’t really matter, as long as there is mutually respect.
[Reply]
Malia
Hey girl!!! Great piece!!!! While I do understand where you are coming from, I don’t think political views would make or break a relationship. Heck it’s hard enough trying to get a brother to listen, and not only listen but to COMPREHEND where I’m coming from about our relationship - let’s not confuse the situation even more by throwin in a curve ball of politics and a whole bunch of other things that aren’t relevant (not to say that political issues aren’t relevant). Things don’t always have to be so complicated. When you find someone you love, you should cherish it and not take it for granted and dang sure not let Obama/Clinton/Iraq/Alcaita be determining factors in the relationship. That’s just wayyyyy too much pressure. Everybody would be single!!!
[Reply]
The Man
“but shouldn’t politics be something you and your partner can debate about freely- concluding on some common ground because you share similar beliefs?” Simply put, NO! Wheres the fun in that? As if we should only connect romantically with the people that feel and think the same way that we do. And id if this is the case, to what extent does that apply? Should you only associate with partners that enjoy the same music as you, have the same taste in film? Should you only date people who have the same favorite color as you, or the same favorite television show? The differences are what make people exciting and interesting. While i agree that somethings should ultimately be agreed upon; i.e. slavery is wrong, racial profiling is bad, r. kelly should be in jail, while acknowledging that at the same time, at 16 & 17 your old enough to know if you wanna be urinated on too, etc. To say that you should argue only to eventually come to the same conclusion is ludicrous. It takes the whole point outta getting to know someone if you know they gonna always agree with you. Besides, most people enjoy a good debate. When someone can express how they feel about something passionately and articulately to me, i find it very attractive. Even when i giving them the “you must be out yo mind” look, the fact that they’ve even said something relevant enough to draw me into the convo can be a turn on. Maybe its just me, but i dont want a woman that agrees with everything i say. Sometimes you need checks and balances. I just dont feel that when you love someone your politics need to align, i dont think it matters as much in the greater scheme of things, as far as a relationship is concerned. I think the more important first date discussion would be whether or not you both share the same feelings on premarital sex.
[Reply]
Malia
LOL!!!! THE MAN has jokes I see!!! You got me over here crackin up! I’m impressed! Yes - to R. Kelly locked up! No - to first date coochie or conversation on the first date about pre-marital sex. That’s a guarantee that you wont’t get any!!!!
I know you said you don’t want a woman to agree with everything you say, but I actually see eye to eye on everything you just said! In relationships we feed off of each other’s energy and learn from one another, so if I’m with somoene and we’re always nodding at the same time and saying the occassional “uh-huh”s the relationship will fizzle out with the quickness! I want to be with somebody I can learn from, someone who challenges me, someone who presses me on to do better, try harder. This relationship thing isn’t for the weak at heart!
[Reply]
LovelyNicoya07
I think that politics have a lot to do with a relationship. The daily situations that we go through are surrounded by politics..so if you and your loved one cant aggree on that..then the relationship is based on physical attraction. Having same interest with your loved one is a plus.
[Reply]
Icy Mike
eh, if they get a bit overboard on some issues, it could seriously impair your relationship. It depends how much you can stand really.
[Reply]
alwayswrite
“Bisexuals of the political world.” Never heard that before. SB, I’m stealing that, respectfully. Politics do reveal on some level the beliefs a person holds to be true. But, I don’t think it’s that important. Plus, if the relationship is open, discussion about anything, including politics, should be free, whether the man and woman disagree or not. For me, it’s like any other topic a man and woman may disagree upon. I mean, they’re not coming together to vote; they’re coming together b/c they love each other. And love does include the good and the bad, depending on the political spectrum the person is looking through. Shit, I support a heated argument over politics as opposed to one over infedility.
[Reply]
KV27
It is possible for two people who have varying political affiliations and beliefs to be in a relationships (Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver) but I think thats more of a rarity. People in relationships don’t need to have the same feelings about everything but having similar political ideologies gives a better chance for the relationship to work.
[Reply]
TROUBLMan
SB
On the first date? What if you meet a dude you really are attracted to, he’s smart and cool but he don’t vote at all. What if he’s has the same political affiliation as but is one of those people who don’t follow politics?
[Reply]
alwayswrite
Troublman,
good questions. On the first date, if a dude tryin’ to get some, he’ll turn into whatever political party SHE belong to. :1.
[Reply]
*SB*
THE MAN-
I dont believe that a couple should agree on everything when it comes to politics…thats why I said DEBATE instead of discuss because there is no fun- if there is no friction! but the examples you stated “slavery is wrong, racial profiling is bad and r. kelly should be in jail (LMAO)” was the common ground that I referring to…. you’d be surprised the amout of people who dont agree on obvious matters such as the ones you brought up.
Alwayswrite-
Feel free to use that term…i like it too.
Troublman-
Yes on the first date! What is wrong with that? Is that too much? If a man doesnt vote…im gonna give him the “you must be out yo mind look” like THE MAN was referring to but would try to understand his standpoint as well as express mine….believe me-im always up for a challenge…..When it comes to a man that doesnt follow politics but is of the same partisan group….I dont see a problem with that…following politics is not for everyone and as long as he has a real reason for belonging to that political party…it will help show me his beliefs and morals.
Alwayswrite-
Men will say anything to get into your pants but women have grown accustomed to it (atleast i have) therefore you have to be careful who you give up the draws to- which means you gotta make ‘em jump through a few hoops first- not testing or teasing- just standard procedure to see if they are who they say they are! Once again, I have to say that man is a goober-face (lmao) if he has to lie to kick it….
[Reply]
Sparkule
I think it is very important that ur luv interests share the same political views. You are right opposites do attract but at the end of the day it’s gonna be conflict. If 2 ppl can’t discuss their politics because of a potential fall out then im sure there’s lack of communication in other areas as well. We all know what that means most of the time a failed relationship. It’s hard enough for ppl w/ the same views 2 get along . But that jus my circle.LOL
[Reply]
TROUBLMan
SB
Damn. You hard core. I’d rather get to know about a women’s ultimate goals on the first date. To me, that says more about our compatibility. Where are you working to go, not how you gone get there is the big question.
THE MAN
R. Kelly’s black ass need to be locked up. If it he wasn’t on TV we would have put him under the jail. Molestation on tape? I’m off topic but your right. Politics is something you should be able to debate with your partner. A relationship like that takes two mature people. We all known how few relationships involve “two” mature people.
ALWAYSWRITE
Politics don’t always reveal the beliefs a person holds to be true. Some people call themselves liberals and they’re conservative as hell. And vice versa…
[Reply]
TROUBLMan
Am I the only one who believes in keeping your friends close and your enemies closer?
[Reply]
*SB*
Troublman-
I am a firm believer in keeping your enemies close and your friends closer…it gives you an advantage….like seeing across enemy lines…
[Reply]
Reply to “Love in War”
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