What’s Good in the “Hood”

Written by: Johan

Some of you may have noticed Boosy trolling through the comment section of the blog. Today, Boosy has stopped by to bring TROUBL some satire and a perspective the media often misses, that of the black middle class. Boosy’s “What’s Good in the ‘Hood” series gives us a candid look into the mean streets of the burbs. Before I pass the mic, let me say Boosy’s burb-cred is not to be questioned. Trust me; I been to his cul-de-sac and all the lawns ain’t green.

–TROUBLMan

Hello world it is I, Mr. Burbswagger himself AKA Sir Bougie Black, Duke Boosy to you regular folk out there, here to let you know what’s good in the “hood.”

On today’s episode we’ll examine the new age “thug.” In my burbs, I mean hood… (Excuse me while I clear my throat—“cough,” “cough”) we have more thugs than cops. I’m sure you know the thugs I’m talking about being that 70% of the listeners and active buyers of hip-hop and “urban” clothing are suburban and mainly white.

Let’s visit Greenwich Connecticut, the lovely town with an average home price of $1.2 million. To everyday people, this is a lot of money. To many of my “niggas” in Greenwich, it’s the bottom of the totem pole.

Henry, 18, comes from a well to do family. His dad is a hedge fund manager and his mom a lovely “milf” homemaker. Of course, they sent Henry to one of the best private schools in the area, Trinity-Pawling (you’ve probably never heard of it… Hate, hate, hate).

Despite his pricey education, Henry is fascinated by the thug element he sees watching his favorite hip-hop videos. After seeing Mobb Deep’s “Shook Ones Pt. 2” video for the first time (more than 10 years after it came out), Henry decides to bring his “Queensbridge-swagger” to school.

Suprisingly, it works. His schoolmates have never seen someone so gully, so hood. Once the girls begin to flock, he takes it a step further and decides to start his own gang, HFC, or the Hedge Fund Crew. If you don’t what hedge funds are, they’re basically private investment funds with lots of money backing their transactions. When these funds win in the stock market instead of making $10 million, investors make $100 million.

These dudes are wealthy, not rich like our athlete/rapper friends. Through the summer, Henry initiates (and jumps in) 7 members into HFC. Of course there are requirements to being a member—$50,000 in your checking account and a M-3 at least…

On the next episode of what’s good in the hood, we’ll explore how HFC is able to start moving mad amounts of drugs and weapons, while the cops back off on their activities, instead focusing on the few minority laced neighborhoods’ of Connecticut.

…And for all of you out there questioning, how bougie I am, know that I made more money last summer in the stock market than you’ll make next year. I’m off to Paris in a private jet. No lines. Hate, hate, hate, hate.

P.S. I wanna send a shout out to my boy John Brown AKA King of the Burbs. Holla!

Tags: Comedy, Culture | Jan 10, 2008 |

18 Comments, Comment or Ping

Q.

classic.. good stuff..

[Reply]
Terry

The line between entertainment and authenticity in hip-hop has been blurred by mainstream marketing strategies since big business realized there was money to be made.

I look forward to more of this segment. It’s good to see Boos Brady’s been promoted to Duke. All hail his bouginess!

[Reply]
LoverOfPeace

What kind of mess? I was expecting a topic not a sitcome. How you gone leave me hanging like that? No Love!

[Reply]
Malia

Boosey you’re funny!!!!!!!

Black culture, marketed and sold as an image, a lifestyle, to other races is a big moneymaker! Whites and uppity negros who don’t realize that YES THEY ARE STILL BLACK have always admired, patronized, supported and profited from black art forms, not just Music (Jazz, Bebop, Rock and Roll and the Blues before Rap, all of which have deep roots in Afro-Caribbean culture) but our achievements in the Sciences, in Engineering, Sports, Medicine, Education, Dance, Theatre, and so on……

I could say more but I wouldn’t want you to think I was a hater!!!!

[Reply]
ChiCity Star

Let him be bougie if he wants to Malia, quit hatin……..LOL!!!!!

I have some REAL examples of “uppity” black folks…….Muhammed Ali, he refused to be drafted to go to Vietnam and got stripped of his heavyweight title.

Mike Tyson is an uppity black man…does anything and everything he wants, good or bad..he is also very very crazy…

Barack Obama is an uppity black man…he dares to run for the White House…..You want conservative black uppityness…try Alan Keyes…another crazy MF…but definitely uppity..

Justice Thurgood Marshall was an uppity black man…Bill Cosby is uppity…

RuPaul is uppity and very very fashionable!

Hell, even P Diddy or whatever the hell he calls himself these days is uppity…How about Ice T, Ice Cube, Wesley Snipes, and lord don’t let us forget Danny Glover..

Uppity? How about Whoopie Goldberg on the distaff side? How about Angela Bassett..

How about any black person who dares to speak out against the system called America and pays a price….Can you say Eartha Kitt?

Malcolm, Martin, Eldridge….I’m just sticking with the uppity names you know..there are countless others who have gone so far as to have given their lives in anonymity because they were “uppity.”

I’ve read Thomas’ book…I’ve read the books about Thomas…I’ve watched Thomas from jump…all the way from his nomination by Daddy Bush…through Anita Hill…and all his years to date, on the Supreme Court….

Uppity? No!

How about ego driven, under achiever with a huge chip on his shoulder, who is very obviously mad at the world.

As we say in the ghetto…”A brother’s got some issues that need working out..”:

[Reply]
Malia

Okay, okay….I’ll stop hatin!!!!! Can I tag along???? I ain’t never been to Paris……

*twidling thumbs*

[Reply]
boosy

Maila- Girl you can come to Paris with me anytime..No lines on the private jet..

Lover_ i’m sorry to keep you hanging , it’s just that this topic is so hot, that i want to wait till , his excellency bill cosby comes to our school to relly delve into some hotter issues..

I don’t want to spoil the next episode, all i will say is that, it starts in the island of dubrovnik, if you don’t know where that is, look that ish up……and plese bring that hate/love..i love it…keep em coming ya’ll..this will be a year of reclaiming our youth from the hands of mass media…….

[Reply]
"A Mom" reply on May 24, 2008 9:09 pm:
Boosy
You can send invites to all the troubl gang.

[Reply]
Malia

Negro you have wayyyyyyyy too much time on your hands!!!!! LOL, LOL, LOL, LOL…..and don’t make promises you can’t keep!!!! If you say I can ride then I’m expecting champagne and truffles!!!!!!!!!! Or hook a sista up with a great stock tip! Dang!!!!! GIVE ME SOMETHIN!!!!!!

[Reply]
Alon Molake

LOL - this is good, and, at the same time, informative. ..

So gully…LOL. ..

[Reply]
Petey Staxx

He’s so bougie that he wrote this on company time… hate, hate, hate, hate, hate…. Get back to work Boos…

[Reply]
Keene

Funny how this matter came up after witnessing some views, somewhat relivant to this subject. I was just browsing through a few MySpace pages and was noticing some of the dialect that was used from select people in select locations. I came across those who were from actual cities credible for being “Hord”– and yes I did mean to say “hord/hard”– where alot of the “slanguisticz” originated from but had leaked out into the surounding, not so “Hard”, suburbs surounding about. I found that more people on the site, from the suburbs use far more slang words in there still proper pronunciating everyday dialect, inpersonating those who are actually from the Hood in the city!!! Oh, and it just frickin’ kills me when I hear the stale, fake, wanna-be tone in their voice when conversating with one of em! It feels like while some are trying to get out of the hood, some are trying to nose dive right in!

[Reply]
LaCerda

Boos, i dont appreciate you going around talking about me like that. but no worries, there’s room for one more in the HFC. vacations in france, hot milfs, and loaded bank accounts, i dont see anything wrong in that …other than the fact that i dont have any of it. you stay capitalist

[Reply]
Boosy

werd

[Reply]
Boosy

is capitalism cool

[Reply]
blaq

Hmm waiting for next installment

[Reply]
"A Mom"

Enjoyed this post. It give us a different insight.

[Reply]

TROUBL

What’s Good in the “Hood”

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