TROUBL

Having once been an adolescent myself and currently being a preschool teacher, the question of parents having a big effect on our lives has definitely pondered around in my head on more than one occasion. As a student in middle and high school, I was dropped off at school early in the morning and not picked up until 4pm. I spend the majority of my day at school around mostly my peers and of course teachers. And when I got home it was homework, dinner, and then off to bed to repeat the same program the next day. I see the same pattern taking place with my students now. Drop-off is at 8:45 and the children don’t see their parents until 3:15. As early as three years of age, the majority of our time is spent with our peers and friends at school.

Am I saying that parents don’t matter and that they have no significance in our lives? No, but I guess more often than none I go back and forth in my opinion and have strong feelings about both sides. After all, our parents are the reason we are here and they deserve some credit in shaping who we are. One aspect in children where parents really do matter is physical appearance. Genetics plays a big part in how we look so depending on one’s view of their self appearance they either have their parents to thank or not to thank. Well, on a more serious note, it really is a hard question to answer. Take for example my younger sister and me. We come from the same two parents, yet have such different characteristics.

I definitely agree that how parents raise their child and teach them certain things about life impacts a child. However, I don’t agree that it shapes a child completely. The shaping of a child already exists and what the parents do modifies that here and there. Let’s take anther example of a child being better off in a troubled family in a good neighborhood than a good family in a troubled neighborhood. Living in a troubled neighborhood can be so traumatic for a child that coming home for a few hours a day into a good home may not be enough to balance it out. Of course, it helps to come home into a safe and loving environment at the end of the day, but the outside environment has already done its damage to that child. Peer pressure is a big issue in our schools and our society. Our peers and friends are the people we get ideas from, the people who impact us in believing what’s cool and not cool, and at the same time the people who cause us to make wrong choices.

What can we do? Should we keep our children locked up in our homes until the age of 18? No, because that would effect them in even more ways. I believe balance is the key of life in almost all situations. Parents should do all they can do provide their children with positive answers, learning techniques, examples, love, support and guidance. Explain that the outside world may have different ideas compared to them and that it’s O.K. I think parents can only do so much and as unfortunate as that may be sometimes, we just have to trust our child to make the right choice. Too much invasion may have a negative effect as well. Parents do matter and I’m so thankful for mine in instilling morals and values in me. However, peers matter just as much and if not more. So, parents remember to be the best parent you can be and allow your child to be the best child they can be!