RSSSexual Stimulus
In January, when George W. unveiled his scheme to send out Economic Stimulus checks to 116 million American families, I have to admit I was pretty excited. $600 for nothing? Sexy. Of course, I wanted a piece of that! I started putting together grand schemes in my head about throwing a “George W. is Awesome” party or spending a weekend in a fancy hotel.
But when I heard his line about how he expected the checks to “turn this economy around” and “encourage job creation,” my excitement faded into a fit of derisive giggles, like I usually have when I think about poor old George. Not to say I empathize with him, but the guy is just so misguided that sometimes I want to pat him on the back and tell him - in a supportive way — “You’re such a moron. I can’t wait for you to be out of here.”
I mean, seriously. Not that I don’t love free money, but $600? How is that going to help me stimulate the economy? Armed with $600 I could put a serious dent into a month’s worth of groceries and utility bills, with maybe some left over for a night on the town with friends. I could put it toward my rent and have some extra money left over, maybe, but what’s that going to do for the economy when I pay my rent every month anyway? I thought of getting out my old party streamers for yet another “George W. Sucks!” party, but at this point they just seem redundant.
Because, really, what did his crack team of economists think $600 each would do for the middle class? Pay off the mortgages people are paying on houses worth less than they owe? Jumpstart the stock market? Somehow convince the rest of the world that we’re economically viable again so they’ll start trading in their Euros for dollars? What our economy needs is not a few hundred bucks dumped into summer vacations or credit card debt; it needs serious investments of thousands and millions. It needs a strong dollar, and it needs, more than anything, for Americans to believe in its power–not throwaway tax rebates.
I ended up ingloriously blowing through my check on bills and random entertainment. I guess I stimulated the economy in my own miniscule way, but it felt dirty somehow, like I’d been tricked into acting as if I’d gotten an extra paycheck when I really was just taking pity handouts from the Right Wing. Looking for clues as to how we were supposed to spend this money raining down from Capitol Hill, I got online to see what others were doing. I found a great website called, “How I Spent My Stimulus” with all sorts of cool ideas from those who had already spent theirs. One guy blew his on 2 oz. of “great weed.” A couple got their baby boy circumcised, and one guy just filmed himself burning his check. But, none of these appealed to me. None of these seemed the appropriate way to say “up yours, Bush,” which is what I wanted to say.
But, just recently, the numbers have started coming in and it turns out that a large number of people felt the same way. According to the Huffington Post:
“An independent market-research firm, AIMRCo (Adult Internet Market Research Company), has discovered that many websites focused on adult or erotic material have experienced an upswing in sales in the recent weeks since [Economic Stimulus] checks have appeared in millions of Americans’ mailboxes across the country.” Kirk Mishkin, Head Research Consultant for AIMRCo said, “Many of the sites we surveyed have reported 20-30% growth in membership rates since mid-May when the checks were first sent out, and typically the summer is a slow period for this market.”
I can’t remember the last time I felt this great about the American People. I’m not joking. We took our economic stimulus money from the Right-Wing conservative government, and we spent it on porn. Probably, the very last industry that George W. had in mind when he urged us to turn the economy around, but one that most Americans would support more if they had a few extra bucks coming in. And as soon as we got those bucks, we went straight to the Internet with it. I salute you, George W., for stimulating something, even if it wasn’t the economy. Good job, old pal. We’ll remember you for this one.
14 Comments, Comment or Ping
"A Mom"
I got my check. The sad thing about it is that he really thinks this will help us out. I got $600.- but a lot of people won’t get that. I’m out of work right now so once I pay a few bills and get some food that’s it for me.
So what about the people who make much less then myself. Some will get $300.- and others nothing. Yes he need to be out of there, and you can bet he will be swimming in his billions laughing at all of us who have been ponds in his ego. So many people are suffering. “Stimulus” What a joke.
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Gii
Great blog, yet a little sad. Economy doesn’t suck in Brasil, but does it matter when millions and millions of people don’t get to feel the difference?
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"A Mom"
Everyone is feeling the pinch but the Big shots could careless. I don’t wish anyone bad luck but something need to happen to the greediest.
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twilight eye
The stimulous check is a temporary band aid to keep the american people pacified while in turn purposely worsening the economic situation.The goal is a north american currency called the AMERO and in order for Americans to agree to abandon the dollar, it needs to be worth nothing.
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Gii reply on July 17, 2008 10:27 pm:
I know, I kinda have the same idea about the band aid thing. It’s a temporary method of keeping people quiet, while the economy gets worse … just so that G. W. get enough time to leave the White House and leave the mess for the next president in line (hopefully OBAMA) to clean up.
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alwayswrite reply on July 19, 2008 2:30 pm:
What’s your source? I’ve never heard that info before. The AMERO? Really?
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"A Mom"
I also think that what has happened is about priorities. What has been more important for our country? I think we put more into other countries than we put into ourselves.
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Q.
yeah, what all y’all said..
i got the $300, and that joint can barely cover my Cablevision package.. i still don’t even understand how some get $300 and some get $600.. i’m cool with the free money, but it does absolutely nothing for us individually (aside from going on a candy binge) or as an economy..
but if they hand out another check, i’ll be one of the first in line.. sad part, is that w/ our banks now closing, they need to send cash!!
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"A Mom" reply on July 18, 2008 10:23 am:
I don’t think it’s free. We have paid the price. He just giving us a bone of what was already taken from us. It’s nothing to what we have had to pay out of our hard work. Your right about one thing with the banks. Maybe a money order sent will be better. I’ll be ready for mine as well.
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LAG reply on July 19, 2008 3:10 pm:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/07/02/nation-buys-porn-with-sti_n_110457.html
http://jezebel.com/5022683/stimulate-this
http://www.reuters.com/article/pressRelease/idUS112243+02-Jul-2008+PRN20080702
…Actually, just Google it. Links everywhere.
[Reply]
The Beautiful Mind
This is so sad but funny. You know that I didnt qualify to get a stimulus check because I was still on my parents insurance and I get a check. But they can take all those taxes out my check. They should call it the pimping stimulus because of the inflation of everything. We are forced to give our checks right back to them….
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mistress poetist
I STIMULATED MYSELF WITH $600.00 WORTH OF SEX TOYS…I LOVE BUSH NOW
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Traci
Excellent article and so very true. The vast majority of the people I know put that money right to bills of some other necessity. That meager amount of money was not enough to stimulate too much of anything. What we need is a long term plan with some short term quick fixes to help this situation. They are spending billions on a war that has failed to do what they intended on doing. Gas prices are completely out of control and I heard on the news this morning that they are considering raising the gas tax because not as many people are driving due to the high gas prices and jobs are going to be lost as a result of a deficit for high repairs. Millions are being spent to bail out banks because of the mortgage crisis while at the same time the government has pretty much said oh well to those who are losing or have lost their homes because they should have known better. The only hope that we have at stimulating the economy is to get Bush out of office.
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"A Mom" reply on July 22, 2008 4:53 pm:
Your so right, but the next person in office (Obama) has a job on his hands.
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