RSSHate, Hate, Hate
Everyone I know hates. And I know most are thinking, “Nope. Not me. I’m not a hater.” Precisely. Just because you hate doesn’t necessarily mean you are a “hater.” What separates a “hater” from someone who is “hating?” Ownership.
Hate is a problem. A “hater” is someone with a problem. A hater is someone who consistently and constantly views the personal make-up of another as off-center, simply because it is a make-up either a) he or she is not or b) he or she wishes to be. However, when a hater is called out for hating, he or she denies it: “I’m not hating. I’m just saying that shit is whack.” The reasoning behind the hating is generally superficial, so the hater speaks, “I just don’t like that color,” “Her shoes don’t match that dress,” or “His rims too small for that truck.” But, it’s slightly more complicated. Not accepting the hating–at the moment hating is being done–as a deeper concern for the hater’s lack or endeavor in his or her own identity, allows a hater to ignore his or her dislike for another’s style, which, again, is a problem. Solutions for problems cannot occur if a problem is not admitted to be present. Please believe that everyone is a hater, at some moment in time, which is to say everyone goes through the process of hating. However, everyone is not relieved of the hater label.
Solution: Own your hating at that moment. Accept it. “Yeah, I was hating,” you should say. And move on. Recognize that you either a) saw a quality in another you didn’t possess or b) saw a quality in another you wanted. They are not equal. You can lack some quality and not want it. But, you cannot want something that you do not lack.
I truly advise everyone to own his or her hate. Recognize your problem at that moment and fix it. But, I caution you to not have too many hating moments. When you are hating always, you are officially playing with being labeled a hater–whether you recognize it or not.
9 Comments, Comment or Ping
"A Mom"
For some I think this is also a part of selfesteem. I have a friend that will look at a person any person and say “I can’t stand her”. Most of the time it is a women unknown to us. I will say to her “You don’t even know her”. She answers “I can’t stand her anyway”. When we were younger I couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t allow herself to get to know people before she would make such judgements. As of today she has never changed. I am glad I didn’t see things thru her eye and allow my heart to be closed like she has choosen. I understand now why she is this way.
[Reply]
Q.
“if i don’t like, i don’t like it, that don’t mean that i’m hatin’..”
said by the man, Common..
i’ll be back with my own hate when i get some more time..
[Reply]
Alwayswrite reply on July 1, 2008 1:24 pm:
Common was hatin’. He just didn’t own it. He is on the verge of becoming a hater if he keeps it up.
i’m just sayin…:).
[Reply]
Q. reply on July 2, 2008 6:48 am:
LOL.. yeah, alwrite.. LOL..
[Reply]
Lag
“You can lack some quality and not want it. But, you cannot want something that you do not lack.”
Truer words were never spoken.
[Reply]
TROUBLMan
I’ve only recently began to make a point of owning my hate. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a hater, but like all of us, I do hate from time to time. if i don’t like, then i don’t like it, but I can dislike it to myself. I remember learning in second grade, “if you don’t have anything good to say about someone, don’t say anything at all.”
It’s the people who always want to voice their dislike that I consider hater. Criticism is good if it balanced with a recognition of something positive. Anything else is hate. I own up to mine.
[Reply]
"A Mom"
We choose to be the person we are as be become adults. Haters choose to hate for their own reason or lack of. I think for most it is conscious. My world is so big. I can’t allow hate to be a part of my life. It stunts my growth. I do hate somethings, but they have no relavance to people in general. They are mostly worldly.
[Reply]
Q.
i agree that we all have hate in us, but i disagree (or i’m hatin’) with what makes you a hater.. cuz i don’t have spinning rims on a truck, and i make fun of people that will do it, and live with their mom.. that negro has nothing that i want, nor am i inclined to feel that with the opportunity i would do the same thing.. i don’t want spinners and i don’t want to live with my mom.. so where does that leave me?? i mean, i have the ability to get that and do that, so i can’t check that box.. and i already said that i don’t want it..
so can we just hate for hate’s sake??
i’m just sayin’..
now i will own up when i was hating on Hov and a few other dudes, mainly because i was jealous of their success.. i embraced the hate, and eventually embraced them.. shoot, that may be a way to conquer your hate, cuz after i hugged it a few times, i was cool with the dudes i was hatin’ on.. so i do think owning it will set you free..
i guess ppl make it too easy to hate nowadays.. Flava Flav had 2 shows on tv (i was hatin’ on that, but not on the women he was choosing from - he can have that; wait is that hate?).. a guard was selected in the top 4 of the NBA draft that i really never heard of.. i was confused, but i guess i was hatin’ on him as well.. i was proud to see him reach his dream, but i still was scratching my head..
i guess i’m saying that maybe hate is part of our DNA.. we weren’t made perfect.. i just think some people take it to a new level.. maybe those are the dudes you’re talking about that fall into those 2 categories.. or maybe it’s just me.. my own reflection..
i’m just sayin’..
[Reply]
Alwayswrite reply on July 2, 2008 11:29 am:
As far as the guard, that wasn’t hate. Hate involves an intentional “thrashing” of a person’s character/lifestyle/life. You were just in a state of complexity. That’s not hate. It’s only hate if it’s like you wonder then say something like, “Man, I wouldn’t have picked him.” Why? Hate, hate, hate…
I agree. Hate is apart of our DNA. You should see my post “ALL WRONG” it kind of touches on our DNA being “not right.” Hate has so many categories, remember, it’s a spectrum.
But, Q., you on the right track. Own your hate. Say, “Yeah, I did it. I was hating.” You cool. It’s just that so many people don’t own their hate.
[Reply]
Reply to “Hate, Hate, Hate”
SEE ALSO
♦ TROUBLMan - HateTube
July 1, 2008
♦ SB - The Rebel Country
February 26, 2008
♦ Dutchess - The Fever
February 20, 2008
♦ Boosy - Not Today
January 21, 2008
♦ Johan - It Takes a Village
November 9, 2007